Date: Wed, 26 Jul 2000 17:09:38 GMT From: rootnopsamus-technologies.com (Dean Malandris) Subject: Repairing the pressure valves used in the windscreen washer system: The Nonoxynol-9 Method
SAABs are very interesting cars. Some things can be annoying, however. One year ago, the jets for washing the windscreen on my 900 series turbo cab stopped working. Upon examining the plumbing, I found that the valves used to build up pressure in the system had stopped working. Opening up the valves revealed that the rubber diaphragms had turned to goo. If you've never pulled one of these valves apart, all they are is a rubber diaphragm and a plastic piston with a small steel spring. OK, no problem, I just went to the spares dept and bought two new valves at $15 a pop and fitted them in. Seven months ago one of the jets stopped working again, and again I found the valve had gone to goo. So I bought another one. Another $15. A few months ago the T-valve which splits off some flow for the headlight washers went, so I replaced that too. And, just last week, the other windscreen jet died. Look, fellas, I like the idea of using valves to get all clever and squirt the good old dihydrogen oxide, but paying $15 for a little plastic valve the size of my little fingernail every few months is ridiculous. I don't mind doing it once, but not with every change of season. If the damned things only cost me the buck they're worth, I wouldn't mind. But I've spent over 10 times the $5 it should have cost me in the past 12 months. I don't know what it is that makes the diaphragms turn into a gooey mess so often. I fill the reservoir with regular tap water and it's flouridated so that means the car won't get cavities and will always have a nice shiny smile for those bloody speed cameras. So without any further ado and expenditure, I set about re-engineering the valve. After searching for 10 seconds, I found the perfect solution, courtesy of Ansell Engineering. The modification goes like this: 1. Remove the valve from the car and take the rubber hoses off the valve body. 2. Using a small flat-blade screwdriver (a jeweller's screwdriver works best), carefully prise the valve apart by inserting the corner of the blade into the join where the two pieces of the valve body meet. 3. After you've opened the valve, remove whatever remains of the original diaphragm and scrape the insides clean with the screwdriver. Make sure all the gooey bits are gone. Clean with methylated spirits if it's really bad. Also, make sure the piston hasn't developed a hole where the spring pushes into it. After cleaning, the piston should move freely in the lower half of the valve body. 4. Now using the Ansell Engineering Pressure Valve Repair Kit, also commonly referred to as a condom, snip off the tip or otherwise cut out a piece the size of a 10 cent coin. Obviously, it's not a good idea to be wearing it at the time you're doing this. 5. Take the valve body half-shell with the hose fittings and hold it so that the flat side of the half-shell points upwards, and gently place the piece of latex over the top of it, making sure that there is plenty of material to cover the edges. 6. Place the spring and piston back into the lower half-shell, and then carefully snap the two half-shells back together to make the valve one piece again. You'll have to apply a bit of effort, as you're now placing a layer of latex between the grooves, but it goes in without any great drama. The latex will scrunch a bit when you reassemble the valve, but that's OK. 7. Trim off excess material from the outside of the valve body with a razor or scalpel. 8. Replace hoses and put valve back into car. That's it, voila! I've had this running for a week so far, and the repaired valve works just like the factory original, and even if it fails later, it'll cost me a hell of a lot less than $15 to repair. And one condom will do about a dozen cars (garages please take note.) Just make sure you use a plain condom. The ribbed ones may feel good, and the piston might have the time of it's life, but I don't think it would work terribly well. Part Number: Ansell Engineering Pressure Valve Repair Kit Series: LifeStyle Size: Regular (or He-Man Extra Large if you drive a turbo like I do) Pros: Cheap, quick, effective repair, plus spraying Nonoxynol-9 on your windscreen means that your car won't get pregnant ( do YOU practice Safe Speeding? ). Either that, or you'll only have promiscuous bugs splatting onto your windshield from now on, and they'll die happy. Cons: Trying to explain to your passengers that the reason you carry condoms and a scalpel in the glovebox of your convertible is that it's really part of your roadside repair kit. -- Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Never drink and derive. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Plexus Technologies Pty. Limited. Electronics Consulting, Research & Development. http://www.plexus-technologies.com Mobile: +61 (0)411 470 880 ICQ: 719010
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