Date: Fri, 15 Sep 2000 21:07:49 -0400
From: "jason robertson" <j.robsonnopsamspring.com>
Subject: Re: 2000 Viggen


What a damn joke!!!!!! Fortunately for SAAB these morons will be the only two at their ghetto ass two person car show. If he is serious maybe someone who knows him will remind him that a Sabb is a classy car that doesn't belong at an import "tuners" show. Come on . Ryan Lindfield <ryannopsamlla.com> wrote in message news:w2rw5.3930$JT3.196268nopsamread2.prod.itd.earthlink.net... > I really hope that you are fucking kidding. If so, that > was really funny. If you are serious you should be shot. > If you are gonna do that to a car go get a neon or something > I see lots of idiots around here with lowered neons and > grapefruit launcher exhausts ( 4" tip on stainless muffler) > on them to get them to sound like a kazoo, half of these > idiots are in automatics. There is a guy in my parking lot > at work with an automatic saturn, he has about 20 stickers > on it as though he is sponsored by everyone in motorosports. > Complete with blue head lights, add-on fog lights, seat belt covers, > carbon fiber shifter etc. It sounds like a weed eater <paduanopsam.com> wrote in message > news:wZ6u5.2651$dr4.53893nopsam1.rdc1.ab.home.com... > > What, no fuzzy dice? > > "Jack B" <jacknopsamhe.net> wrote in message > > news:39ae860a_1nopsamna.netset.com... > > > Jeffrey Angler <jangler64nospamnopsamte.com> wrote: > > > > I recently got myself a Viggen convertible, boy is it great. However, > I > > > > am looking to sharpen it up even more, any ideas on how to make it a > > > > show car? > > > > > > Yes. Follow my easy-to-understand guide, and you will be > > > "showing" your sharp car in no time. > > > > > > 1) Ride height. It's obvious that the Viggen sits too high. > > > The best (and cheapest) way for you to fix this is to > > > cut a couple of coils out of your springs. You can also > > > clamp a few on the coils shut. A good guideline for this is > > > that you should not be able to see the top edge of the tire > > > when the car is at rest. > > > > > > 2) Lights and excitment. You will need to pick up some "Blue Flame" > > > bulbs at the local NAPA. It says they are not legal for road use, > > > but they only put that on there to keep dorks from buying them. > > > Open your hood and remove your exising bulbs. Replace with the > > > "Blue Flames". > > > > > > You will also want to put a neon license plate front and rear. > > > Normally, this would put a strain on your electrical system. > > > Luckily for you, the Viggen is chock full of unnecessary > > > "knock sensors" and "trionics" that you can disconnect, freeing > > > up power for the neon and your stereo (see below). > > > > > > 3) Wheels. How could such a cool car come with such gay wheels. You'll > > > want to take them off and replace with Boyd's Billet Custom wheels. > > > There is a spacer available that will let you use the same wheels > > > as a Chevy IROC-Z. > > > > > > 4) Stereo. Everyone knows that Saab radios are fruity and only > > > really work when they are tuned to NPR. You can't afford an > > > embarrassment like that when you're jammin' at the local strip. > > > Nor will traditional "boom tubes" fit. Luckily for you, there's > > > an answer. Under the hood of your Viggen, under the plastic cover, > > > you will see a variety of tuned induction and other tubes. > > > Pull the ones that connect to the engine off and install a set > > > of long-travel cone speakers at their ends. You can use acoustic > > > tile cones to account for the difference in diameter. Now your > > > entire car will be boomin'. You may notice that it is more difficult > > > to start the car in the mornings - that's because Saabs are not > > > particularly reliable. Don't go to your dealer, he doesn't know > > > what the hell he's doing. > > > > > > 5) Accessories. JC Whitney makes a kit that relocates the annoying > > > console-mounted key to the dashboard and gives you a full-sized > > > cupholder where the key used to be. You'll need that. > > > Also of interest would be a nice pinstripe or two down the barren > > > flanks of the Viggen. > > > If you have sufficient patience, it is possible for you to airbrush > > > your name on the back plastic window. Put your name on the left side, > > > and your baby's momma's name on the right. Don't reverse this, it > would > > > mean that you are a pansy, unless you are in England, in which case > > > it's mandatory. > > > Gold-plated Saab insignia add to the classiness of the car. There > > > is also a chromed panel which goes between your door molding and > > > the bottom molding. It's available with big VIGGEN letters, and also > > > with "PLAYER". > > > Oh yeah, gold-plate the grille, too. > > > > > > > > > That's about all I can think of. I look forward to seeing you at the > > > next "Boomin' Saab" show. So far, the only participants have been > > > me (and my chopped-and-channelled 92) and my buddy Darren, who has > > > a sweet lowered-and-skated 99 EMS, but we're not highfaultin' and we > > > always welcome another Saab customizer! > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >

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