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A bit of fun on F.Piech hehe ;)
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Posted by Coolknight [Email] (more from Coolknight) on Thu, 5 Apr 2001 08:44:44 Share Post by Email
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Press: Dr. Piech, what will VW/Audi do to resolve ongoing
brake problems with the A4 and TT during wet weather?

Piech: I can assure you during extensive tests in Death Valley
we have found no indication what so ever that the A4 and TT have
any brake problems in wet weather. Our testing is ongoing and
we should soon have a clear picture.

Press: Dr. Piech, what will VW do to fix ongoing problems
with the 1.9L TDI engines. Customers are complaining about
low boost and erratic Turbo surge problems. What is VW doing?

Piech: VW has now competed an extensive investigation of
these allegations and we came to the conclusion that only
our Turbo Diesel models were affected.

Press: Dr. Piech, recent tests have shown that the 1.8L
series engines are worn down after only 200'000Km of
regular driving, is this normal?

Piech: Absolutely not! Our drive train warranty covers
all such problems up to 50'000 miles! Thus should
a customer experience the problem you mention within
the warranty period we will of course replace his engine.

Press: Dr. Piech, many customers have complained about the
fact that the 2.7L Twin Turbo engines are prone to Turbo
failures. Is this a quality problem?

Dr. Piech: Most certainly not, our engineering department
has certified that all the affected engines suffered
turbo failures only if the driver would frequently use these.
And I would like to point out that we do replace these
within our warranty period for free. Obviously damage that
is done to the engine when driving with a failed turbo
is not covered.

Press: Dr. Piech, many A6 drivers are complaining about inaccurate
fuel gauges, which can lead these owners to drive until
there is no fuel left, thus stranded. Will Audi soon have this
problem under control?

Dr. Piech: We have after many hours of engineering come up
with a quick fix, simply fill her up every 100 miles.

Press: Dr. Piech, VW is introducing a W8 engine for the
Passat, do you believe that this will win more customers for
VW?

Dr. Piech: Absolutely, the W8 engine is what we need most in
these days of high fuel prices and global warming to get more
customers to buy VW products.

Press: Dr. Piech, some say that VW/AUDI shows little concern
about active and passive safety and that you could do better!
Will VW improve these aspects in their cars in the future?

Dr. Piech: Thanks to ESC/ESP we can now design a proper
car suspension in a matter of hours, this also reduces
the chance of an accident and is far less expensive then
crash tests and so on. So I do believe that with these
new electronics, our cars are better then ever before.

Press: Dr. Piech why a VW/Audi spare parts so expensive
and so hard to get ?

Dr. Piech: Our spare parts are not expensive at all! Compare
our prices with those of Rolls Royce and you will agree! We are
also now able to deliver any spare part within 4 weeks only!

Press: Dr. Piech, Audi/VW is investing heavily into new W engine
designs, what are the primary advantages?

Dr. Piech: By sharing pistons, valves and many other components
with our base models we can offer more power and more cylinders
than our competitors for less money. This is a win win situation
as our customers get what they desire and we get a real nice profit
on every car using this technology.

Press: Dr. Piech, your newer Brands Skoda, Seat used to be less
expensive then your VW products. Why the recent price increases ?

Dr. Piech: These products were being sold under their market
value, thus we raised the prices.

Press: Some say that Germany has the most expensive work force
in the world, what is your opinion on this ?

Dr. Piech: Not true at all! A regular worker only gets 6 weeks
of paid leave, has to work a hard 35 hours per week and only
gets "pocket-money" bonuses for his paid leave and for x-mas.

Press: So why are employees in Spain (Seat) and in the Czech
republic (Skoda) not getting these benefits and similar salaries.

Dr. Piech: Cause their work lacks Germanic perfection.

Press: What will be the hottest products VW/Audi will come up
with in the next 2 years?

Dr. Piech: I can only tell you this, a ecological 3 ton 300hp
SUV for the US market, a brand new VW W8 and the VW D1 with a
W12 engine. As you see we care about energy manufacturers and
our profits.

Press: Well thank you for this insight!

Dr. Piech: You're most welcome to buy a VW AG product!

Not having fun, read again, between the lines :)

Regards,
Coolknight
P.S. (The above is a joke not based on many realities)


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