Date: Mon, 29 Jul 2002 03:17:09 -0400 From: Tammy Cathcart <tammy923nopsamnet.com> Subject: Don't Know Where To Start.............But I'll Try. Can Anyone Help? PLEASE
Don't Know Where To Start.............But I'll Try. Can Anyone Help? PLEASE PASS THIS ON! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I am not really sure how to begin this except to say that I thought maybe this could help my daughter and I in the situation we have found ourselves in. Its difficult to explain but I will try..................... You see, I am getting divorced from a very violent and abusive man. He abused my daughter and I verbally, mentally, emotionally, physically and he tried to sexually abuse my daughter too. She was too afraid to admit what he had done to her until the week of July 4th and then I guess she had to get it out of her because it had been pent up inside her for so long. She talked to a sexual trauma counselor and we made a police report. Next week she has to go talk to a forensic psychologist and then the police will decide whether or not to prosecute this monster or what to do in the case. I have been legally seperated from this "man" for a year and a half plus, but still have not been able to get a LEGAL divorce as I ran out of money to pay attorney fees. Legal Aid won't help me get a divorce and finish the case because they said too many attorneys had already been involved in the case-my attorney who quit because I had no more money, his attorney quit because he would not pay his attorney, the guardian ad-litem (who I now owe $600 even though I never requested a guardian ad-litem for my daughter since she was 14 when we seperated so I thought she was old enough to decide who she wanted to live with). Now, on top of all this, my soon-to-be ex took a "sick leave" two or more months ago to have hemmorhoid surgery. He went to the beach with his live-in girlfriend (an ex-prostitute) and then had the surgery two days before a court date. He was to appear before the judge on charges of breaking an order of protection by following me to a store. The court had to reschedule the hearing for October 10th. Was he really sick and needed the surgery?! I don't think so considering the fact that he was supposed to have the same surgery seven years ago and backed out of it. It was convienent for him to have the surgery when it would get him out of a court date in which he would have to answer to a Judge for breaking a court-ordered Order of Protection and may face jail time. So, here we are now and he is nearly THREE MONTHS behind in child support and alimony which is court-ordered. The court will rule him in for not paying sometime in August after me practically getting down on my knees and begging them(the Clerk Of Court's Office) to do so. We are about to lose everything. I am three months behind in my house payment and facing eviction. My cable, electricity, water, and phone is about to be cut off. My storage building payment is nearly four month's behind. I have medicines I need but can't afford to get. We are only eating due to my signing up for food stamps. Of course, my soon-to-be EX can afford to be out of work since he sells drugs and lives off of his girlfriend's government diability checks, her food stamps for her kids and her welfare for her kids plus she gets child support for her three kids. My daughter needs back to school clothes and supplies and there is no money to buy them. We cannot even buy enough dog and cat food to feed our pets. People have given us some out of the goodness of their heart but how long before that runs out? (Donations of cat and/or dog food would also be appreciated as would any parrot food as my daughter has a parrot that was given to her 5 years ago and she is now part of the family.) So, I guess the bottom line is I am asking if anyone who reads this could possibly send us a donation of any kind. A dollar or two even would help. Anything anybody can send will be appreciated more than you know. I don't know what else to do but this. I just had hernia surgery myself on July 25th. I had an umbilical hernia repaired. My soon-to-be ex gave me the hernia several years ago when he kicked me in the abdomen with his steel-toed work boots on. He is a real jewel isn't he?! I don't have much left in the way of valuables but I am going to look around and see what I have that I can maybe sell to get together funds to pay all these unpaid bills. I have some books and dolls I have collected over the years, maybe I can sell them on Ebay or something. I am pretty desperate here. If anyone can send me a few dollars it would be very much appreciated. I hate asking for help this way but don't know what else to do. If you can help please send donations to the address below. Please pass this on to anyone else you think may be able to help. I am not trying to do anything illegal here, just asking for some help if anyone has opportunity to help. A few dollars here and there from different people might make the difference in us keeping our electricity on or my daughter getting some school clothes and supplies she needs. Thanks to all for reading and for anything you can do to help. Tammy & Megan 2157 Trinity Church Road Gray Court SC 29645 USA PS This is not meant to be SPAM in any way and not meant to bother or harrass anyone. Please disregard and delete this message if it is an inconvience to you. It will not be sent to you again. PPS--Some people have asked some questions about my situation and this is to clarify what they have asked about. Just so you know, I am not making all this up here are some things to clarify what I wrote. I am not able to work. I have a heart valve that leaks and several other health problems so I am on disability but as you probably well know its not nearly enough to even get by on. I cannot work. I may need open heart surgery and even then may not be able to work. Yes, a woman needs to be able to take care of herself. I agree. I used to be able to until all this happened with my ex and I got sick due to health problems. My female friends (close ones) live in other states-one in Maine, one in Alabama and the other one is on disability herself and barely making ends meet. My attorney took a retainer alright-$3,000 from my parents and still no divorce. I even filed a complaint with the SC Bar Association against him and they said he did nothing wrong. I can't ask my parents to pay for another attorney. They are on social security themselves. This is the truth...........I am struggling to find a way to get through all this. Its all real and all true. Just wanted you to know......... Tammy PS About the guardian-ad-litem- The reason I owe the guardian ad litem money is that my soon-to-be ex husband's attorney asked for the court to appoint one in his initial seperation papers ( he just left us and had no legal grounds for support. I had not done anything wrong, in fact I just had gotten out of the hospital four days earlier). The court went ahead and appointed one-a private attorney who charges. Instead of getting a volunteer one like they should have they appointed a private attorney, not caring that I couldn't pay. The court knew I was on disability but still expected me to pay half of the money for the guardian that I never wanted nor asked for. Some justice, huh?! My soon-to-be ex never wanted custody or visitation he just wanted to use our daughter plus he figured if he got custody of her he wouldn't have to pay child support, alimony or anything. Didn't work out like he thought. Sick and sad he used his own daughter in an attempt for financial gain.