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The manager, after the most recent incident, finally seemed to concede that there was a bit of a pattern here. She seemed to take my side, as much as it was appropriate for her to do so, which meant a lot to me. Big Boss-man also got involved this time, but in a "good cop" kind of way, telling both me and Ms. Difficult separately how valuable we both were, blah blah blah. So intervention from higher-ups seemed to defuse the initial tension.
Boss-man repeated the advice given by someone here, that Ms. Difficult and I should go out for a drink and talk things over. We did, and it went well, as we found that we had a common enemy, namely the ineffective manager. We both felt similar kinds of stress and dissatisfaction towards our jobs, but we handled it in very different ways, mine being to seethe quietly but work harder, hers being to develop a very short fuse. I had the misfortune of being in a position to both unintentionally touch off that fuse and receive the abuse that came afterwards, since I was a peer and, at least nominally, a friend. She says she likes me as a friend, but that's sort of too bad, because I find her barely tolerable, but I do genuinely respect her work, and made sure to tell her so.
Her plans to change jobs were not because of me...this was one of the things we had talked about. It seemed to be a combination of dissatisfaction with a job that she felt no longer challenged her and irritation with the manager. I knew she'd quit soon. As I e-mailed to SilverAeroGuy today after I heard the news, some wishes DO come true!
Obviously there is a huge backstory here, and I'm just giving the headlines. But what it comes down to is that there were two strong but conflicting personalities here, with two very different work ethics, a little too much competition between our respective positions, a work environment with bizarrely flexible boundaries of responsibility, and a ridiculously ineffective manager.
Ms. Difficult even insulted my car once. As if insulting me, my outfits, my husband, my taste in books, and even my height wasn't enough. (What kind of insecure moron needs to trash someone for being two inches shorter than they are???) I will not miss this person at all.
posted by 206.40.162...
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