[Subscribe to Daily Digest] |
This one's not a saab, but I'm with a friend in his 85 jetta and he's driving back from Boston on 84, and he's flying up and down the hills at 100, the little 1.8 screaming. he's gotta pass in his thesis by 2:00 and it's 1:00. we're a half-hour out...then...thunk. nothing. complete stall.
we come to a stop about 200 feet before the top of a hill. plenty of gas, but...
turn turn turn. nothing. turn turn slow turn, he's killing the battery. he's freaking out. it's 1:15 and he's apoplectic. (this is in the days before college students routinely carried multiple cell phones).
he goes silent. i tell him to turn the key, but not to start it. absolutely nothing happens except that INFERNAL "La Mariachi" chime, which is an octave lower because he's used up all the juice.
1:20 now, if there were walls, he'd be climbing them. he's trying to flag down the sparse traffic. they're avoiding him because he looks psychotic at this point. i turn the key to 'on' again...just the chime...no fuel pump noise! so, i take a gamble...
"I can fix this with a paper clip" i say, very cooly, and he absolutely goes over the edge, he thinks i'm making a really, really bad joke. I mean, this is more or less his life coming to an end in a little over 30 minutes. (This particular professor was known for rejecting late work, no excuses whatsoever. the year before, he failed someone who was in a car accident, and they didn't graduate...) He uses most permutations of the f word. then, he adds, "i haven't got a paper clip." so, i tell him, "give me your thesis".
he looks at me, at his his watch, at the sky, at the thesis, and hands it over with a really resigned sigh. i tear the binder clip off it and go to work. i go under the dash, and yank out the fuel pump relay. I popped the wire part out of the clip and jump the terminals. I hear a wonderful, if weak humming from the rear. i get up in the driver's seat, i yell at him to get in.
turn the key. there's one turn, then nothing. no juice to the starter. he's weeping at this point, holding the thesis like an infant. "close your eyes and say nothing" i tell him. i shift into reverse, put in the clutch, and we start rolling backwards, faster, faster and then i let the clutch out. thud, thud, thud...vrooom! everything comes to life. he just screams, 'GO!'. We get there with about 10 minutes to spare. The kicker -- the professor docked him a half grade for handing in an unbound thesis.
My only happy Saab story is short but recent...I'm driving up the westside highway in NYC, just about 100 yards from the ramp to the henry hudson, and I punch it to make the lights and it stalls. nothing. i have enough momentum to roll around a corner on about 54th street. i turn the key, and the pump operates, so i'm thinking it's the DI cassette. it's about time at 115,000 miles. I look up...i've come to rest next to Zumbach Saab, the parts department is 100 feet away. 10 minutes later, i'm on my way, (although $350 poorer).
No Site Registration is Required to Post - Site Membership is optional (Member Features List), but helps to keep the site online
for all Saabers. If the site helps you, please consider helping the site by becoming a member.
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
