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Here's a question regarding friends with possible mental problems and girlfriends:
My girlfriend and I have been with one another for about 3 years. I love her and I'm lucky enough that she loves me right back. We communicate well and have a good relationship, it's long-distance now, but still good. Meanwhile, I've been "friends" with as unemployed wanna-be writer that I met in school almost 6 years ago. That friend has bragged to me on more than one occasion about how his other friend's wives and girlfriends all want him--posturing himself as a nice guy who wouldn't allow himself to disrupt their lives for his own pleasure. He's a 29 year old man who has never had a job and lives with his mother and who I suspect has some type of mental problem, although he graduated with a BA in English about 3 years ago so he is capable at some level and isn't dumb.
I'm not a jealous guy at all but it set some alarms-off for me when this same "friend" looked up my girlfriend on the internet and began calling her on the phone and writing emails to her. Meanwhile he never mentioned to me that he was making contact with her. However, she kept me updated concerning their topics of conversation, which eventually became more and more focused on the relationship between my girlfriend and I, and increasingly inappropriate. Keeping in mind that I live in Texas, my G/F is in NJ (moving down here soon for school), and the "friend" is now living with his mother in Florida.
Last week I asked my "friend" in a 2 sentence email if 1. he was my friend and 2. if there was anything he wanted to tell me. He went crazy and sent me a full page back basically telling me that I'm mean to him and that I don't respect him--and didn't come clean concerning his contacts. His next email basically said he didn't want to communicate with me anymore and we weren't friends. Immedeately after doing that, within in an hour, he began to email a bunch of cutesy little quotes and other things to my girlfriend--all of which she sent to me.
There's more, but that's the general idea. So here is the question:
Is this whole thing still a black and white issue considering the fact that I think he might have some type of undiagnosed mental problem? I've spent the past years encouraging him and trying to help him...He literally wouldn't have his degree without me because he petetioned the school to get out of the language requirement and was rejected, and I basically forced him through the last push in summer school (at a different campus than he was used-to and living away from home for really the first time)...but now all he does is sleep, sit at home, and yell at his mom to bring him a sandwhich, he does venture out to WalMart about once a month--and talk a lot about how great he is at writing (the reality is that he's never written anything). He's not stupid but he isn't brilliant either. He sees himself as a brilliant thinker, but has never produced, nor been held accountable for anything and is also exceptionally dishonest..I'm 99% sure he cheated his way through most of college...only I think there's a pretty good chance that he believes his own lies. He is extremely self aware, and likes to "play the game" as he calls it, thinking that he's smarter than everyone and that he's somehow beating the system.
What might be wrong with the guy? Is there nothing wrong with him and he's just plain lazy and mean and deluded? He has definitely and purposely betrayed me...
posted by 67.10.24...
, Tue, 5 Apr 2005 03:55:04
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