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About 35 years ago, I met an individual through the BMW motorcycle community and we hit it off. We became very close friends and enjoyed each other's company. He had a Master's in psychology, but only worked in that field for a short time. He complained that he didn't mind his patients, but thought that his collegues were nuts. He never again worked a steady job that utilized his education and intelligence, just short stints at body-shop underwriting, the parts guy at a motorcycle dealership, etc, etc. During the early days of our friendship, I had completed my education and began a career. He was more of a "beatnik" type and would kid me in a kind way that I was "buckling under to the establishment." I didn't take offense because I had, and still do, a very satisfying occupation. I got married, had children, made plans, etc, etc. On a particular day, my buddy and I had plans, nothing special as I recall, but plans nonetheless. One of my kids had a soccer game and my wife had the flu. I called my friend and told him that I was going to have to be "soccer mom" and had to cancel our plans. He was furious....he said, and I recall the words exactly, "Hey, Steve, I'm not going to let some snot-nose little j--off dictate our friendship!!" To say the least, I was flabergasted. We remained friends, but things had changed....I moved on and the priorities in my life had changed significantly. His priorities did not change, but he begrudged me my priorities. Was it jealousy or was it selfishness? I still don't know.
He was one of the most brilliant people that I've ever met in my life, but never accomplished anything. Was he lazy, was he complacent, was he selfish?.....I don't really know. He could have chosen ANY occupation that he desired...he could have helped people in need or he could have made mountains of money. He passed away three years ago from a very aggresive brain tumor. I was never angry at him for any reason, but I felt sorry for him. Some philospher once said that "A man is not measured by what he does during his life, but by what he doesn't do."
Drew..... there are obviously things that you find somewhat admirable about this guy and a good many other qualities that you see as destructive. I rambled on about my buddy, and I suppose, to a certain degree, he did, in fact, have some mental problems. But, he was never destructive or undermining to me or the people that I loved. Cut your ties to this guy and be decisive about it. My friend was basically, when all was said and done, a kind soul. Your guy is not.
Steve
posted by 206.166.29...
, Tue, 5 Apr 2005 03:55:04
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