[Subscribe to Daily Digest] |
... that people who drive "inconsiderate" vehicles, (you know what I'm thinking), use turn signals less often than those that drive "responsible" vehicles. Here in the Detroit area, hardly anybody uses turn signals and it pis_es me off. I grew up in NE Ohio where people are more considerate, but they tend to drive in the left lane with no intention of passing. So here is something I wrote about five years ago which actually got into the newspaper and the radio via heavy e-mail distribution. In it, I express all my frustrations with Detroit drivers...
22 BASIC RULES FOR DRIVING IN METRO DETROIT
1-- A right lane construction closure is just a game to see how many
people can cut in line by passing you on the right as you sit in the left
lane waiting for the same jerks to squeeze their way back in before
hitting construction barrels.
2-- Turn signals are just clues as to your next move in road battle so
never use them.
3-- Under no circumstances should you leave a safe distance between you
and the car in front of you no matter how fast you're going. If
you do, the space will be filled in by somebody else putting you in an
even more dangerous situation.
4-- Large SUV drivers think they're immortal, (especially if they have
4WD); don't succumb to the temptation to test this theory.
5-- The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you
have of geting hit.
6-- Never get in the way of a car that needs extensive body work. (Remember no-fault insurance, he might not have much to lose, you do.)
7-- Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to insure that your
ABS kicks in giving a nice relaxing foot massage as the brake pedal pulsates.
8-- Construction signs tell you about road closures immediately after you
pass the exit before the traffic begins to back up.
9-- The new electronic traffic warning system signs are not there to
provide useful information, just to make Detroit look high-tech.
10-- Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right. It's a good
way to scare people entering the highway.
11-- Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as suggestions and
apparently not enforceable in the metro area during rush hour.
12-- Just because you're in the left lane and have no room to speed up
or move over doesn't mean that a Detroit driver flashing his high
beams behind you doesn't think he can go faster in your spot.
13-- Please remember that there is no such thing as a shortcut during
rush-hour traffic in Detroit.
14-- Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident or even
a person changing a tire. It might be more interesting than the
articles in last week's National Enquirer.
15-- Throwing litter on the roads adds variety to the landscape, keeps the
existing litter from getting lonely and gives Adopt-a-highway
crews something to clean up.
16-- Everybody thinks their vehicle is better than yours, (especially
pickup truck drivers with stickers of Calvin peeing on a Ford, Dodge or
Chevy logo.)
17-- Learn to swerve abruptly. Detroit is the home of high-speed slalom
driving thanks to MDOT, which puts potholes in key locations to test drivers' reflexes and keep them on their toes.
18-- It is traditional in Detroit to honk your horn at cars that don't
move the instant the light changes. This is a drag race isn't it?
19-- When the light turns green, put the pedal to the metal; gas is cheap in Michigan, pollution is a myth, and this is a drag race isn't it?
20-- Seeking eye contact with another driver revokes your right of way.
21-- Never take a green light at face value. Always look right and left
before proceeding.
22-- Remember that the goal of every Detroit driver is to get there first,
by whatever means necessary.
posted by 172.155.35...
, Wed, 25 Jun 2003 18:46:07
No Site Registration is Required to Post - Site Membership is optional (Member Features List), but helps to keep the site online
for all Saabers. If the site helps you, please consider helping the site by becoming a member.
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
