[Subscribe to Daily Digest] |
If it were me I wouldn't follow any of the suggestions posted because at the very best it makes it look like you can't handle yourself-- all the other posts take a passive, wiggly back-bone route.
First, it's always a bad bad BAD idea to go over your boss' head (HR included) without a really fantastic reason--like if your boss was harassing you directly. When you go over your boss'-head it makes you look like a whiner who can't handle problems yourself and through normal channels. It makes it look like you're not a capable person. If you really felt that there was no alternative then take control of the situation and request a meeting with your boss and your bosses boss to discuss the matter (or maybe with your boss and the guy you're having a problem with)--but before you do that, be sure to let your boss know exactly what you're going to do because you're not satisfied with the way things have been handled so far, and that the meeting is your proposed solution. If he says do it, than follow-thorough and do it. If not, doing that at least gives your boss one last chance to act, lets him know you're serious, and gives him the chance to be pro-active about the situation. If your boss is good, he'll handle things from there. If you go over his head first, then how can he trust you in the future? You will have to continue wrking with these people and trust is huge. The phrase loose cannon comes to mind.
But... It's likely that none of that is necessary. Have you directly asked the co-worker what their problem is with you? Have you asked them directly to stop doing what they're doing? It might work to approach that other person with something like "I know there's some tension between the two of us and I don't like working this way, lets go out to lunch (grab a beer, whatever), I'm buying." One of the great things about being an adult is that you're automatically empowered to take control of the situation. Playground squabling isn't necessary and only causes unnecessary stress.
If you do anything other than confront the situation directly at it's source people will distrust you and small goups will stop talking when you walk past because they're scared you might get "offended" and file a complaint against them as well. It automatically puts you outside the circle. The fact that you've already complained to your boss about a co-worker has already raised some flags concerning your ability to handle yourself in rocky situations.
Even if the guy is a total ass, he'll likely respect that you've confronted him in person. At the next instance you might even try something like "Look, whatever your problem is, I didn't cause it, so don't talk to me like that please." Or put your hand in his face and interupt him as he's doing it and say something like, "Hey don't be such an ass to me" and then ask what the real problem actually is. Or maybe "Hey, you're making things miserable for me around here and we both work here...what is the real problem?" And definitely make a peace offering of buying lunch or meeting for a beer, while doing that, find some common ground or a way to relate with the guy. If it's an actual sexual situation it's a different ball game, but whatever the case, you need to confront the guy first and directly before doing anything else. If you do anything other than that first your ability and integrity will likely be called into question.
I'm not trying to be abrasive or insult anyone and I don't know the particulars of the situation so I could be totally off in what I've written, but given the information available, the above is my opinion and you did ask for advice. :) In any case, good luck!
posted by 67.10.24...
, Fri, 25 Mar 2005 07:07:54
, Fri, 25 Mar 2005 07:58:58
No Site Registration is Required to Post - Site Membership is optional (Member Features List), but helps to keep the site online
for all Saabers. If the site helps you, please consider helping the site by becoming a member.
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
